33rd Birthday

It isn't often I take the time to write anymore, let alone on our blog. But hey, today is my birthday. If you aren't up for a semi -coherent rant, go login to your social networking site :)

Today was an ordinary day. The morning started like any other day, early rise, workout, breakfast, off to work. In the morning as I pull out to go to work, Christy and Emery have a habit of going to the window and waving goodbye. This morning, when I stopped the car and waved to them both, Emery, for the first time, waved to me as I was leaving. It was one of the moments that chokes you up. One of the moments you hope you will seer into your memory and stay with you always. As I drove away down the driveway I had a hard time holding back the tears. In part because of my beautiful and amazing son. How his being just touches my soul directly. In part because it was one of those fleeting, but perfect moments that you hope, you will always remember, lock up in your heart, and take with you. But also in part because it was a reminder to me of another fact. It won't be like this for long; the springtime of my life, and the dawn of my child's. And the number of moments like that , are limited. The number of ordinary days, is limited. Being 33 years old, still so much life to live, God willing, and enough behind me to have gained some wisdom, I've come to realize something only time can reveal to us. The cycle of life. Not that you don't know of it conceptually in your youth, but to know of the cycle of life, your mortal life's extent, through experience is different. At our age, you've lived long enough to of seen some family you love die, your body age a bit, and time truly begin to fly by. 52 weeks in a year. A week is a blink. And how many ordinary days do you get? At our age, you reflect on your past a little more than you use to, when the tumult of daily life allows the time. If I could use one word to describe my life to date, I would say it is blessed. I mean that. God's hand has definitely played a huge part. Everyone has a different definition of success. I started to understand what my version was during the most challenging and loneliest year of my life; my first in the Navy. A time that changed my composition, goals, self image, values, and level of perseverance forever. I could write a lot on that first year, what it meant to me. But the most important thing was that it revealed to me a broader vision of my wants and desires in my own life. That time opened my mind to the possibile. If I could make it through that first year, I could pretty much do anything I wanted. And you know what I wanted ultimately? I wanted to get there on my own, with a little help from God of course, but on my own, in my own way, nonetheless. That time unleashed my fierce independence and hopes. Whatever success was, I needed to do it my way, and on my terms. That became the foundation of what success meant to me; and what it still means today. We all have our version of success. The reason I bring it up, in my own longwinded way, is related to my comment about today being an ordinary day, and that beautiful reminder from my beloved son about the finite number of those ordinary days I will receive. As I drove to work I realized, not for the first time, but again, that I am living the life that I wanted. I realized that my ordinary days, are the days I dreamed would come to pass in my life. I have my health, I have God, I have the most beautiful family I've ever seen. I have all the success I ever needed or dreamed of. This is the springtime of my life. My ordinary days are currently the best days I've ever lived. And that is the best birthday present, ever. The gift of one more ordinary day.